By News-Register staff • 

Hot weather on the way

Among them is the risk to children or pets left in parked cars for even brief periods. The temperature in car interiors can quickly soar into triple digits, inducing heat stroke in confined people or animals.

Dogs left in the bed of a pickup may suffer from both direct sun and reflected heat, sustaining burned paws and potentially heat exhaustion as well.

Forecasters also cautioned, in a special weather statement, of “the temptation ... to seek relief in area rivers.” While snowmelt is sparse this year, they warned, “Many area rivers are still only in the lower to mid-50s,” rendering them “still cold enough to cause issues for those trying to swim.”

They went on to note, “Flows are lower than most years, and this may lead to more injuries from exposed rocks and debris. Fatalities are quite common in area rivers during the beginning of summer-type weather.”

Finally, the forecasters warned, “Most people are not yet acclimated to the heat. Be sure to avoid exertion during the heat of the day, and to stay hydrated with clear liquids.”



Governor declares state of emergency for Rose Festival Grand Floral Parade

SALEM -- Governor Kate Brown declared a state of emergency this morning as thousands of revelers took to the streets of Portland to watch the Rose Festival Grand Floral Parade. She said that Oregonians are placing themselves at risk of suffering and death by spending time in the sun just to watch a bunch of colorful floats. “I wish there was a way we could move this event inside,” said Brown, who was clad from head-to-toe in a burka-like anti-sun garment.

Brown said Oregonians are playing with fire if they make the foolhardy choice to expose themselves to the dread ultraviolet rays. “Look at all those wacky Californians with their tanned skin and white teeth,” she said. “Do we really want that ugliness here?”

Brown was thankful that the Portland media seemed to share her concerns. “Channel 8 ran a piece on level-70 sunscreen and channel 12 suggested viewers remain in the comfort and safety of their air conditioned homes to watch,” she said. Brown’s spokesman, Brian Shipley, said he doesn’t think the governor’s office is overreacting. “Oregonians are right to be terrified of the sun,” said Shipley. “It’s very dangerous,” he said. Shipley related a story where he once discovered what he thought was a cancerous mole on his cheek. “It turned out it was just a piece of brown rice leftover from lunch,” he stated. “Boy, that was a scare!”

Brown said if it was up to her, she’d outlaw the Grand Floral Parade on days when the sun cast its evil gaze on Oregon’s largest city. “Oregonians should just stay inside with their whole grains and their marijuana pipes,” she said. “It’s much too dangerous to go outside.”


I've got a sombrero bigger than Pancho Villa's, and my tomatoes are going into the ground today.

Don Dix

The empty pant suit that occupies the governor's office is in dire need of a basic education. The following statement is widely accepted by most experts .....

Exposing yourself to sunlight is the most important source of vitamin D because sunlight is far more likely to provide you with your vitamin D requirement than food is. UV rays from the sun trigger vitamin D production in your skin ..... Sunscreens with a sun protection factor (SPF) of 8 or greater will block UV rays that produce vitamin D. An initial exposure to sunlight of 10 to15 minutes allows you adequate time for Vitamin D synthesis and should be followed by application of a sunscreen with an SPF of at least 15 to protect the skin. Ten to fifteen minutes of sun exposure at least two times per week to the face, arms, hands, or back without sunscreen is usually sufficient to provide adequate vitamin D ......

But those who faithfully follow can stay inside and cower from Sol as did ancient civilizations. Then, later in life, they can join pasty Kate down at the 'Osteoporosis Center for Idiots'. This is a prime example of 'can't fix stupid'.

Don Dix


Due to lack of freeze, my tomatoes have been in the ground since April 29. Maybe we should put an SPF 70 on them to keep the red away!


C'mon, guys. It's a spoof, of course. Governor said and did no such thing.
Here's a photo of her waving to the crowd, sans any sort of sun protection, from her perch on a parade vehicle: 18349073939_89e94d8314_m.jpg


When I was inundated early on Saturday morning with dire warnings about sun exposure from Portland television, I decided to have a little fun at others' expense. Sorry, Don -- and apologies to Gov. Brown and her spokesman. I figured the satiric intent was obvious.

Don Dix

No need to apologize. Trafik's statement has all the markings of the confusion and wrong-headed direction of the Oregon government. The pant suit was empty when it took office ... nothing has changed.


"Wrong-headed" is an unfortunate term I associate with Bill Clinton--why a former Rhodes scholar would use it is beyond me. It's a dumb, clunky expression--like using "brainstorm" as a verb.
On the other hand, I'd like to know why so many of our last few Oregon governors are just plain strange...

Don Dix

Lulu - It would appear by association, the last 5 were prepped by and promoted by 'the honorable????' Neil Goldschmidt. When the majority blindly vote party line, it never occurs to them their choice for gov was probably 'groomed' by a pedophile (and the statute of limitations can't repair the image)).


" many of our last few..." You crack me up, Lulu. Keep 'em coming.


Sponge, you've hit upon our clown college motto: "Leave 'em laughing when you go."

Web Design and Web Development by Buildable