Stopping By: Learned confidence
Now 31, Palacios continues to charm people as Ms. Black Oregon 2025. She is the first person to hold the title since 1994, when Michelle Solas represented Oregon. This summer, she will go on to compete in the Miss Black America pageant.
The 28 years since she arrived in Oregon have been both wonderful and complicated, sometimes difficult, Palacios said.
Growing up as one of a very few Black people in Yamhill County wasn’t always easy, she said.
In the ’90s and early 2000s, McMinnville was “pretty white,” Palacios recalled. She was the only Black child at the Linfield Preschool; years later, she’s been the only Black student in her classes at Chemeketa’s Yamhill Valley Campus and often the only Black in her workplaces, too.
Young Bethany faced many questions, most well-meaning but sometimes hurtful, usually out of ignorance, she said. And what many of her white neighbors considered minor instances often became challenging, such as finding someone who knew how to care for and braid Black hair.
At the same time, she had a great family — loving parents, Marty and Debbie Palacios, and older siblings, Ian, Eric, Miles and Aimee. She said they provided her with stability and emphasized the value of education — her dad was, after all, a teacher and vice principal in McMinnville schools.
“I’m very blessed,” she said.
The Palacios family also provided a good foundation in the Christian faith, which shapes her life today; and, as much as they could, they helped her learn about her native culture.
They even drove her to Eugene for hair care and products not available in McMinnville stores.
Still, she felt different and understood she stood out in the crowd, even if she didn’t want to.
Palacios said it wasn’t until recent years that she’s gotten to know many other Black people.
That’s one reason she applied for the Miss Oregon competition, and why she’s excited about the upcoming national event. She will get to spend time with women who look like her from around the country and share many of the same experiences.
“It’s so cool to be around other Black women doing things in their communities,” she said. “It’s a sisterhood.”
PLAN Adoption was founded by the late Ann Scott. The nonprofit agency helped many parents in McMinnville and other parts of the U.S. adopt children in the 1970s through early 2000s, when it closed.
In addition to Palacios, several other Liberian orphans immigrated through the program, along with adopted children from Russia, China and other parts of the world.
When the toddler first came to the attention of PLAN, Bethany was known as Susan Quay in the Liberian orphanage. She’s not sure if that was her birth name.
“I’ve done 23 & Me, but nothing popped up. No family tree,” she said. “I do know, though, that I’m 100% Liberian.”
She has few memories of her early life.
“I remember sitting on steps getting my hair braided,” she said. “I remember eating at a long bench, wearing a blue dress, with other kids. We were eating rice or oatmeal.”
As she gets older, she said, she is beginning to recall more about her time in the orphanage. For many years, she hadn’t cared much about what happened then.
“I think I suppressed the memories,” she said.
Once in Oregon, she suffered from a recurring nightmare about being kidnapped. She’d awaken trembling, and her parents would need to stay by her bedside to calm her back to sleep.
Since her early 20s, the disturbing dreams have abated. Finally, she can sleep well.
Preparing for the pageant has helped, as well. In the past few months, she has reflected and spoken about her experiences.
At first, “my emotions were all over the place,” she said. “I realized, whoa, I’ve been through a lot. But I’m healing as an adult. I’m okay.”
And she is grateful. “My birth parents put me in an orphanage and I got adopted here – a miracle,” she said. “God protected me, gave me opportunities and handed me life to make the best of.”
Palacios now lives in Beaverton, where she works in sales for T-Mobile. She’s a frequent visitor to her hometown, and to Dayton, where her parents now live.
She spoke Thursday night at the Story Night program in McMinnville.
In addition to her emerging memories of Africa, Palacios is recalling more about her childhood in McMinnville.
She remembers meeting the Liberian president when the African woman visited McMinnville and Portland. She met other former Liberian orphans over the years.
In general, she said, “I wish I was more attentive back then — but what adult doesn’t say that?”
During her childhood and teen years in McMinnville, Palacios said, “I didn’t feel different at home. My family made me feel loved,” she said.
Her family also kept her busy, both at home and in school. She played drums with the family band and participated in track and volleyball in school, and in the girls’ wrestling club, going to state in seventh grade.
She was always happy to be with her family, she said.
But it dawned on her that she looked different than her siblings or other children in her school. “The first time I saw my reflection, I didn’t recognize myself,” she recalled. “I just stared. I was confused.”
Then her classmates began asking questions. Why was her skin darker and the texture of her hair different? Why did she have a “white girl” first name and a Latino last name, but didn’t resemble either group?
“They were curious,” Palacios said. “But it still hurt.”
She developed a habit of “explaining myself before they asked.”
That was annoying, she said. “Every day I had to explain my existence,” she said. “I felt ‘less than’ for a long time. I didn’t know where I belonged. I felt like I couldn’t really say what was on my mind.”
Over the years, she has worked to develop her confidence, both in herself and in her culture.
“I learned not to change myself,” she said.
Her journey included two years of courses at Chemeketa Community College; she’s now studying marketing and communication online through Arizona State University.
In addition, her journey included spending time in Hawaii, then in India, working with a Christian organization, Youth with a Mission. She learned a great deal and developed her skills, but decided to return to Oregon.
“You can leave a state or an environment, but you can’t leave yourself,” she said. “I had to build the tools for confidence and for sharing my truth.”
Part of that process has involved helping younger Black girls. She was approached by parents who asked her to speak with their daughters, who needed a role model.
“I realized I would love to be a mentor,” she said. “I realized I have a lot to offer.”
She volunteered with HOLLA, a Portland organization and school for Black and Indigenous young people.
She’s currently mentoring an 8-year-old girl. They get together to talk, hang out, go to movies or visit a yogurt shop.
“I thought it would be helping her with school work, but it’s really just being her friend,” said Palacios, who plans to continue the relationship through the girl’s school years. “It’s being the mentor I wish I’d had.”
Becoming Ms. Black Oregon will provide a larger platform for helping others.
She applied for the Oregon contest after seeing an ad that called for young women who are Black and “want to make a difference.”
That fit her, she realized, so she called for more information. She was chosen as a contestant following interviews.
After winning the title — she uses Ms., rather than Miss, because she is older than some of the contestants — she has made sure to make the most of the opportunity, telling her story whenever she gets a chance.
She also has been preparing for nationals, which will be held July 30 to Aug. 4, in Washington, D.C. The final competition will be televised.
At the national event, she will present her platform, go through interviews and appear in evening wear. She also will compete in the talent portion of the contest. She plans to do spoken-word poetry as she frequently does at “paint and poetry” events at an African restaurant in Portland, Akadi. She also will perform spoken work at “Good in the Hood” in Portland this June.
“I like to speak,” Palacios said.
“It’s important for me to share,” she added. “Others are going through the same thing. Talking about it is healthy for them, and for myself.”
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