Quirk of the Week: Punching out the center hole for some serious spin
As we March Fourth toward spring, Quirk of the Week yields one more “indoor delights” accounting, starting with several short takes before spinning our main feature:
• Shoe rack sign seen in a local podiatrist’s: “Do Not Try On Shoes.”
• In the north hallway to the court at the Linfield University Ted Wilson Gymnasium, every space with a door has a number: The quirky part is that some numbers are omitted or out of sequence; they go in clockwise order from 001 (the gym) to 005 (the elevator) to 006 and 008 (storage and electrical) to 009 (stairway), then 011 (office). Oddly, the last room is 010 (film room).
• Nearby is another Linfield plaque that needs updating: Linfield Intramural Championships, with plates for 2022-23 and 2023-24, but none yet for 2024-25. And, did that mean the end of the intramurals dynasty for The Jellybeans? They were winners those two years in soccer, volleyball, football AND basketball.
Moving on.
Stepping into Vortex Records is a little like stepping into the past, though owner Bruce LaVerne is au courant on new releases, be they CD or vinyl. This is a store that sells turntables operated by Bluetooth, as well as vinyl new and used, and even cassettes. And plenty of 45s are for sale.
The backroom is like a portal to the psychedelic era, with its plethora of black-light and other posters.
The store also sells original art as well as framed posters, rare vinyl and other vintage music memorabilia and objects.
Also on display is a growing selection of rare and novelty discs — for display only.
The exhibit is ever changing and expanding, and difficult to fully describe. As in, you never know what Bruce might have on his walls.
But one certainty is the display of LPs, 45s and 78s on the east wall as you walk in: a gallery of colorful rock ’n’ roll discs as well as those of other genres – and a whimsical archive of pop culture, musical and beyond.
The vinyl array has grown in the last couple years, so there is always some kind of surprise. In addition to classic black, the discs are red, purple, orange, yellow, transparent or multi-colored. Call it a turntable smorgasbord, or even a museum of sorts: an LP clock, a disc with the emblem of the German record label Music Maniac, two c. 1950s plastic 45-carriers called “Tune Totes” and discs with early images of Elvis Presley and Jackson Five.
Discs displayed include:
• A green one shaped like a frog, with the circular grooves in the middle, yet no label to provide a clue to its unique whimsy;
• The Pledge of Allegiance, by Red Skelton, the label reading “Ready to play/Punch Out Center Hole”;
• The Monkees hang there along with Sgt. Pepper, as do Kenny Rogers and The Archies;
• A cardboard “Spooky Stories” square “disc” (LaVerne notes this is one of several that began as inserts in magazines and were playable, originally at least. For some reason, scenes on this spooky collection depict a book of Latin along with creaky staircase and graveyard);
• “Walt Disney Mouseketeers” with Mickey, Donald and Goofy singing “I’d Rather Be I”;
• “Legos: The Fabuland Rainbow 1982”; Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket; and Teddy Bears on Parade from Peter Pan Records;
• One just labeled “Pop B.B. Groove-o-Rama”;
• “Wah Wah” from 1967 and “recorded in Hollywood,” with a crude stamp for Holster Strum & Drum in Longview, Washington. The record predates by three years the song “Wah Wah” by George Harrison, so presumably it is what is termed a “cry baby” recording of the wah-wah pedal;
• For more sound effects, there’s a disc of “All the Novelty Hits” featuring “Beep Beep,” “Alley Oop,” and “Chipmunk Song”;
• “What’s The Name of Your Band?” 45 from Frank Zappa (who else?) on Barking Pumpkin Records;
• There was a “Time Warp” from “Rocky Horror” on a maroon disc, and something by The Ventures on a Japanese label;
• Lastly, mention is needed of the disc by the 1980s band The The: “Armageddon Days Are Here Again,” with full lyrics printed spirally on the surface of the LP.
Closing note while we swirl around the Vortex: something else, something unique.
As noted in this column previously, the sign for Vortex’s original location, at Baker Street Square, is still up in the sign board at Baker and 12th streets. Vortex moved from there to Third Street 12 years ago; yet, inexplicably, its sign remains at the commercial complex. The rest of the signs are for businesses located there, but for some reason Vortex’s has never been removed. Other businesses have come and gone from the square, but only the Vortex sign seems to be locked into place.
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